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Proverbs 17:9

“Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.”

Many years ago some friends took me out to dinner for my birthday. It happened to be at a restaurant that was actually a large boat docked at the harbor.

The food was great, the service was great, and the view was great. Right when we were getting ready to leave I realized that all the time we were there, the boat never moved or rocked; it remained steady.

Later I found out that the boat was secured at the dock by a process called “mooring”. Strong steel wire ropes from the ship were tied to massive, sturdy metal posts on the dock called bollards. Winches from the boat tightened the ropes, making the boat steady and more secure.

Too often we tend to undergo an “emotional mooring” process when someone wrongs us — especially if it is over a long period of time and the hurt runs deep.

We “secure” anger and bitterness with strong “emotional cables”. The longer hurt lasts, the more likely we are to use “emotional winches” to pull them tightly to the “bollards” of our minds. Over time we become “stable” at the dock of unforgiveness.

But we have a choice — we can remain “secured” to the dock of unforgiveness, or we can set ourselves free to move towards a more healthy way of life, emotionally and spirituality.

The outcomes of these two choices are revealed in the book of Proverbs.

Choice 1:

Whenever unforgiveness builds up inside, it becomes a source of strife in our lives. It is like high water behind a dam ready to burst open and destroy everything in its path.

“The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.” (Proverbs 17:14)

Anger can easily turn into hatred over time. Proverbs 10:12 teaches us how hatred and strife are related.

“Hatred stirs up strife…“, thus breaking the “dam”.

But the verse also declares a better way. The second half reveals Choice 2:

“…but love covers all offenses.”

Our hope, relief, and calmness of mind and heart are in the Sovereign Lord whose act of love, through Christ, covered all our offenses.

Forgiveness frees us from mental and emotional bondage. When we follow the ways of the Lord, we please Him. And pleasing Him opens the door to amazing possibilities:

“When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” (Proverbs 16:7)

Are you “secured” to the dock of unforgiveness? When opportunities to reconcile come your way, do you instead tighten the “emotional ropes” to the “bollards” of your mind? Do you frequently revisit the wrong you experienced, and activate the “winches” to tighten the “emotional cables”?

In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus urged us to forgive others. He even explained what would happen if we chose not forgive (Matthew 6:12, 14 – 15).

If the emotional weight and hurt seem too heavy right now to make that choice, Jesus instructs us to come to Him if we are burdened with a troubled heart and mind (Matthew 11:28)…any type of burden. In Him, and through pleasing Him, we will find rest, ease and peace — and the ability to forgive others as we ourselves have been forgiven.

So choose to reverse the “mooring process” of unforgiveness and a troubled heart. Free yourself to “sail the waters” with Jesus. He can steady your course no matter the condition of the sea.