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Proverbs 18:21

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

I recently heard the story of a single mother and her young school aged son. Her husband had died in an accident while her son was still in diapers. Needless to say, things were very difficult for the mother financially and emotionally. She did not live close to family members and couldn’t afford to relocate. She was basically raising him alone.

One day she was about to leave for work. Her son didn’t want her to leave. He wanted her to buy him a new toy and play with him. She told him that she had to go to work. He became angry. So out of his anger he said something that literally stopped her in her in her tracks. She took a moment to gather herself and finally replied, “We’ll talk later tonight.”

Immediately the little boy realized his mistake. As she walked out the door of their apartment, it was if the whole apartment suddenly got dark and quiet. Every hour he had to wait on her return he felt more and more regret.

When his mother finally walked through the door, he could tell that she had a hard day at work. Instead of the bright warm smile and glowing eyes he usually saw, he was met with red swollen eyes and a serious stare.

His mother finally spoke:

“Son, I work hard to provide for you. I don’t make much money, and can’t provide everything I want. But I do the best I can for you…I do my best. When I go to work, it’s for you. When I make sacrifices for myself, it’s for you. What you said to me hurt me deeply.”

And then she paused for a moment, as if to put emphasis on what was to come next, she said, “But, I will keep loving you and doing my best for you.”

The little boy never forgot the words or the look in her eyes. From that point on, he never spoke an unkind word to her and showed her the utmost respect. He realized that he had hurt the one who loved him the most.

This past week, have you said something out of anger, frustration or disappointment to someone that damaged their spirit, confidence or self esteem? Have you said something that “killed” someone’s dream or vision of a positive future? Have you said something to someone just to be hurtful?

If so, it reflects the “death” part of this Proverb. Unfortunately we do it more times than we should, more than we know.

But the story also depicts the “life” side of the Proverb. The mother, although deeply hurt, spoke “life” to her son that changed his mindset for good, (he was in his 60’s when he shared this story). She showed that her love for her son was unconditional. Instead of there being “death” in the relationship, there was life…life that impacted him and others for decades.

If the Lord recorded your words over the past week, what would they sound like? Would they mostly be words of encouragement, praise, loving correction, restoration and compassion — or words that would deeply hurt Him and others.

God expressed His love for you while you were still a sinner. (Romans 5:8). He is in the process of conforming you into the image of His Son. (Romans 8:29). That includes the words that come out of our mouth.

The apostle Paul struggled with living by the flesh versus living by the Spirit. (Romans 7:14-25). But he discovered power and life in the Spirit Who dwelled in him and also you as a believer.

Make a decision to be more intentional in yielding to the Spirit of God inside you. Not only will He give you new life in your thinking, but your words will reflect the new life that’s inside you.