By Jamere King

Proverbs 16:32

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

Have you ever been talking to a friend and as they are updating you regarding the details of their life you quickly realize they are sharing things they have been holding onto for a while? What you assumed was going to be a normal dialogue conversation quickly turned into a venting session for your friend. If you have the wisdom and awareness to recognize moments like that, you will soon realize that more listening and less responding is usually the route to take.

I’ve had a friend tell me once “Man, thank you for listening, I really needed that.” The entire time I didn’t say one word—only listened. Many times during the conversation I felt compelled to respond but afterwards I was glad I didn’t. Although I felt I could have helped him with my responses, the real and unseen power came from simply listening.

True power and strength can often come from the most unlikely places. Just like there was real power in simply listening to my friend in that moment, God tells us in today’s verse that inner strength and self control are more commendable and powerful than the exterior strength of a warrior.

In ancient times, capturing a city was a significant military achievement, often involving strategic planning, strength, and leadership. Yet, God says when we exercise patience and have the ability to control our emotions, thoughts, and actions—capturing a city is considered light work when compared to the inner strength that comes from the Spirit of God.

Being wealthy and powerful according to the world’s standards does not guarantee the happiness we truly desire. Some of the most powerful people commit suicide, have multiple unhealthy relationships, and never seem satisfied. Those whom are “powerful” can still be overpowered by more money, more power, and all the anxiety and worldly expectations that come with being “powerful”.

On the flip side, God’s people who exercise patience and self control can never be overpowered because He who lives in them is more powerful than everything outside of them (1 John 4:4). Those who are controlled by the Spirit of God can’t be ruled by anything because with this person, everything has its proper place in life.

Even though on the exterior Jesus was homeless (Matthew 8:20) and people assumed he was crazy (Mark 3:21), He was always fully in control of His emotions, His thoughts, and His actions. For this reason, regardless of His situations, He always knew where His true strength came from.

So let me ask you, what “strength” are you relying on that you need to let go of? Is it money? Your job? Your education? Your looks? A title? Your child? Your marriage? I hate to burst your bubble, but there’s no strength in any of these things.

Real and lasting strength flows from the inside out. Being patient when it’s easier to compromise, showing kindness even though they don’t deserve it, exemplifying gentleness when it’s easier to cuss them out, practicing self control instead of having sex outside of marriage. Living as a Christ follower requires leveraging a different type of strength that won’t be found at your local gym—only in Jesus!